There’s nothing more peaceful than spending a day in a forest observing birds feeding their young or building a nest out of discarded pizza crusts. Before you embark on your next bird-spying mission, brush up on the basics:
- Packing light ensures you’ll have plenty of space to bring birds home with you, which makes future bird-watching trips as easy as letting them out of your backpack so they can hover around your basement.
- Learn birdcalls to dupe the birds into coming to you. Birds usually won’t approach you because the sight of a human reminds them that some of their ancestors once betrayed their avian roots by evolving into featherless, flightless homunculi.
- Binoculars will become your best friend on the trip, as your actual best friend will likely be pricked by a bird’s razor-like, toxin-producing stinger. If your binoculars are encased in a tumbled-leather protector, clutching them in a moment of fear will feel no different that clutching your friend, should he or she have been heavily tanned.
- Record your findings using the field guide, either by writing in the margins or ripping out the pages to create a papier-mâché cast of its body.
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